Cooler than a magic 8-ball...
...and cheaper.

What you do is get a can of soda and then you spin it 'round and 'round. Then you ask it a question....then look at the side that's facing up.

Example:

Question: "Does Tommy really like me?"
Answer: "% Daily Allowance Based on 2000 Calorie Diet"

Question: "Will I get the promotion?"
Answer: "A Product of the Coca-Cola Company."

Question: "Will Simon EVER leave American Idol?"
Answer: "My sources say 'no.'"

(That last one doesn't come up often)

Question: "What should I do about Global Warming?"
Answer: "Questions or Comments?"

Another money saving suggestion is to replace your remote with a trained duck. This is very cool in that the duck changing channels is much more entertaining than using the remote. And, the trade-off is hardly noticeable...at least if your old remote quacks incessantly when stepped on and frequently craps in the floor. Go for it!

Now, for a random sampling of things I've been thinking today...

-Bob Dylan...as a gangsta rap artist...in his trademark voice...
"You can't run, baby...you can't hide...I'm Bob Dylan and I'm from the West Side..."
...and it goes on and on...
"So I told the Man...baby, time's marchin' off the clock...then I shot the Man...baby, with my sexy Glock..."

-Better than Hawaiian Punch...oh, wait...that deserves it's own post...hold on...

-Kiwi Strawberry Hawaiian Punch isn't that good...Hawaiian punch in general, the homemade variety, is very gritty...but it'll help thwart the masses if boiled and spilled over the drawbridge as they charge! Mwahahahahaha!