Tuesday, May 11th, 2004

Time	Event
11:12p	When I was a kid... ...my parents got me a goldfish. I was so excited the day I saw that little Fishy Fish was doing a backstroke. I told my mom and she had to explain to me that it wasn't a good thing that Fishy Fish was doing a backstroke. We then launched into the topic of death. Since I was so attentive, my mom decided to get me a new pet. She got me a new baby kitten. But, that wasn't any fun. It started floating funny too...and only a few minutes after we put it in the aquarium...and it was a heck of a lot harder to flush... AND NOW, PRESENTING THE FIVE CATS IN THE DRYER CHOIR: meow...meow...meow...THUD THUD THUD....meow...THUD...THUD...meow...THUD...THUD Current Mood: Sam's Club Tell Tale Heart - "Rip up the floor boards! It's the beating of his infernal heart...at WHOLESALE!" Current Music: "What's new pussycat...whoa whoa whoa..." (Comment on this)
11:38p	Anyone else notice... ...the trendy tank tops everywhere with an adjectival phrase or common noun placed in the middle. Such tank tops I have seen include "Hot," "Princess," "Spoiled," "Angel," "Too Cute," and so on. These would be SO much cooler if, by mere linguistic play, they began placing random adjectives and nouns on these shirts and selling them? A flirty top that says "chamber pot" or a spiffy tank that says "juxtaposed." Other ideas for random nouns/adjective tank tops: quagmired gubernatorial Crimean War stovepipe hat flanged Charles Metternich incongruous malign These nouns/adjectives would be cute and stylized. Like the tanks that say "hot" have the letters spelled out in flames and "angel" has wings on the 'a' and the 'l' to make the point, words like 'incongruous' would have a little smiley face shrugging it's shoulders and 'stovepipe hat' would be accompanied by a little Abe Lincoln...who would also be shrugging. In other news, I note that almost every concievable product that is sold at Wal-Mart has some brand that is marketing a Spongebob Squarepants variety. You have Spongebob boxers, Spongebob toothbrushes, Spongebob cereal. I even saw a pre-Reformation Catholic priest wandering around selling Spongebob indulgences. Wiggy... "Spaceballs the breakfast cereal...Spaceballs the FLAMETHROWER!" "I'm ten times the Krusty fan you are! I even have the Krusty Home Pregnancy Test!" (1 Comment | Comment on this)
11:54p	Chased by a cobbler and a blacksmith... ...you know... You'd think that it'd be a hoot to dress up in olde fashioned New England apparel and wander around Old Salem, NC saying to passers-by "Top of the marnin' to ya! Me names Cotton Mather!" just to see how many people notice that you are geographically, chronologically, and linguistically inaccurate. I mean, it IS Salem, after all...or at least *A* Salem... But, it's fortunate for you if you wear modern shoes, as the olde fashioned buckle variety the reenactors of the town wear don't stand a chance of catching you on ye olde fashioned cobblestone sidewalks. ...and, hypothetically... ...it'd be fun to do again tomorrow... Current Mood: Anachronistic Cotton Mather - "Gimme a pint of Sam Adams, lad. America's BEST beer..." Current Music: "I wish I was in Carrickfergus..." (Comment on this)

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